12 September 2010

Uncertain Certainty

I am slowly but surely settling in to the 5-days a week, 8 hours a day lifestyle. Having not done “this” for several years, I’m finding it to be oddly relaxing in that I know exactly where I’m going to be most of the time, how long I’m going to be there, and what I’m going to do while I’m there. It’s life more “ordinary,” whatever that word is supposed to mean.

At the same time, there’s this odd uncertainty with so much certainty. I’m not even quite sure how to describe it, but it’s there. The uncertainty lies in all the areas that were definite before full-time employment. Questions like when I will next be in London, or when I’ll next see my parents and grandparents. Whenever I want to be was the answer most of the time.

While it seems a routine offers several definites with time and place, when you’re this far away from so many family and friends, it’s seeing people that becomes uncertain. Even skyping - because of dramatic time zone shifts and the international date line - can’t be set in stone. When are you up? When am I sleeping? I can’t do then because I’m working and you can do this other time because you’ll be in dreamland.

I’m not saying it’s good or bad, it’s just a little observation from the other side of the lifestyle spectrum - an observation that may be obvious to many but new to me. One things certain: it's all a bit uncertain.


Kyle Taylor

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