As I am sure we're all aware, creepy, scary, frightening [read: blown out of proportion, no stronger than normal flu, media panic] is sweeping across the globe. LSE being LSE, they naturally introduced an entire series of "regulations" for us. While some were obvious (keep track of what's happening - DUH) others were just hilarious. I'd like to draw your attention to this little nugget of joy:
4. Find a flu friend or “buddy”
It would be a good idea for you and a group of your friends to make informal arrangements to agree to assist each other should one of you get the flu and be confined to your room. Your flu friend or "buddy" would then be able to collect any medication that you may require, purchase food and drink for the local shops, etc. Remember that if you do contract the flu virus, then you will almost certainty be confined to your room for 7 days until the symptoms have passed, so it is a good idea to get a buddy system arranged as soon as possible between yourselves.
If you develop swine flu and share a bathroom or kitchen with other students, you will be asked to wear a disposable facemask when you leave your room to use communal facilities(just in case people aren't sufficently scared as-is, those affected will be trotting around in MASKS) to prevent you spreading the virus to other residents. The facemasks will be provided by the School together with instructions on their use and safe disposal.
The School does not intend to issue facemasks to students who are well.
If you are prescribed antivirals, ask your “buddy” to collect them for you. Make sure you complete the full course of medication, even if you are feeling better. Stay in you room until the symptoms have completely subsided.
If you have been unable to find a “buddy” (what if I just don't want a "pig-flu buddy?"), contact the duty warden or a member of reception and they will arrange for someone to collect your medication for you.
So then, who wants to be my buddy if I get infected with pig-flu and am confined to my room for 7 days, only able to open in the door when my buddy leaves rations on the floor just outside? And who wants a mask? I'm buying!
--
Kyle Taylor
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