01 March 2008

Hey Judy, Don’t Make Us Sad…

We’re mid-Missouri at the moment and Malena and I have been keeping a big secret these past few weeks – there is a third “person” on this adventure with us. Her name is Judith Jesibelle Jenkins (she prefers Judy) and her little voice has been guiding us [almost] every step of the way. While she may appear to be simply a navigation system the reality is that she is so much more, and constantly reminds us of her humanlike abilities.

She has day and night mode, which is just like split personalities. She’s emotional (“Can’t find origin. Fatal error”), she’s demanding (“In 2 Miles Keep To The Left. Turn Left In 100 Feet. Turn Left NOW”) and more times than I can count she has refused to guide us, no matter how much coddling, praise and gifts we bestow upon her. In fact, we bought Judith her very own holiday sled Christmas tree ornament that is even engraved with her name.

Still, on numerous occasions she has done us wrong and while we love her death, a certain resentment is beginning to build up. For example, when you’re sitting at a gas station in the middle of Wyoming and there is no one for 200 miles in an direction with the exception of the gas station attendant and the older gentleman with Oklahoma license plates, the last thing you want is to have NO IDEA where you are or where you need to go. All this technology is supposed to make life easier but – truth be told – I can’t remember the last time a map book had a “fatal error.”

Judy has been complaining about low memory but she’s only 3 weeks old. I asked her to take me to the Guthrie Theatre in Minneapolis and she did – only it moved to a new location more than two years ago. Not only is her memory low, it’s pulling from antiquated information.

Needless to say, things in the car can be tense after a solid 8 or 9 hours of driving. Whether we like it or not, Judith Jesibelle Jenkins is all we’ve got to get us across America, so lets hope this is just a down cycle, and that things improve…in the meantime, we’ll keep apologizing for all those big square states and their lack of “waypoint initiators,” whatever those are…


Alexander said...

Well, if you dragged me out into the middle of the American collective of corn-states that start with the letter "I", chances are it'd be mighty traumatising and confusing, too!

Just in case, sounds like a US Road Atlas and a compass wouldn't necessarily be a bad back-up plan ;)

Drive safe, s'fun reading the tales of adventure!

Kyle Taylor said...

Wait a second Alexander, are you suggesting we bring something along that doesn't have an lcd touch screen? What's this you say, a "Road Atlas?" Why that's just crazy talk! :-)

P.S. What's a "compass?"