15 September 2008
The Gibson/Palin Interview Decoded
If you weren't able to catch last week's three-part series of Sarah Palin making it up as she went along, here it is in about 100 words:
Palin: "Hi Charlie. Thanks for joining me in the great state of Alaska." Insert random, out-of-place reference to Hillary Clinton in a sad attempt to lull her supporters. It fails miserably. "You know Charlie, war is hell. I can see Russia from my house."
Gibson: "Have you ever met with a foreign head of state?"
Palin: "You know Charlie, there are people out there hellbent on destroying us. I can see Russia from my house."
Gibson: "So the answer is no?"
Palin: "I. Uhh." Insert some form of the word hell. "Russia. House."
Gibson: "Do you agree with the Bush Doctrine?"
Palin: Leans in as if she is going to say something extremely important. Points finger at Gibson. Sweeps enormous bushy bangs. Asks in the same tone a 12-year-old in deep trouble uses while trying to bide time, "Which part?"
Gibson: Rolls eyes. Sighs loudly. Thinks to self, "I have more experience than you do, and I can't even see Russia from my house." Breaks it down in the same tone a parent uses when talking to a 12-year-old in deep trouble, "The part about preemptively striking if the US is threatened."
Palin: "You know Charlie, America comes first." Insert lie about visiting troops in Iraq and Germany. Say it was honorable, even though it never happened. Realize that telling lies seems to work really well, as no one questions a word she is saying. Smile awkwardly. Tilt head. Get back to using dramatic words that have nothing to do with the question. Insert form of the word hell. Finish with, "and I love guns."
Honestly, how can anyone vote for this person? This isn't sexism, it's realism.